Predict a cricket headline for 2014

[Durhamfootman]

England players agree to run very slowly between the wickets, but the deal falls apart because Shahid Afridi refuses to become a British national, leaving no-one to dig up the pitch to the theme tune of 'Ground Force'

[D/L]

Ravi Shastri signs lucrative 8 figure deal with Citibank and guarantees that each India ODI player, in each match against England, will hit at least one Citi maximum, 2 Citi quadruples, bowl several Citi Delhiers, attempt to take 2 Citi skyers in the deep and have a Citi moment of success with one of the dancing girls......... white trashy ones, obviously.... not the nice respectable Indian girls......... and will take turns to scream "Ah Hoooooo Ya, every 30 seconds

I don't think I understood any of that headline but I liked its snappiness.

[Durhamfootman]

crocodile was on holiday, DL

[Slipstream]

Cook and Bell involved in punch-up with Swann behind TMS commentary box.

[Alviro Patterson]

Gary Ballance smashes run a ball century in India ODI series. Take his top off with "Yea Swanny Talk Nah" written on his chest.

[Slipstream]

Gary Ballance smashes run a ball century in India ODI series. Take his top off with "Yea Swanny Talk Nah" written on his chest.

[rich1uk]

ECB canvas ICC for a change in ODI playing regulations to ban the use of spin bowlers

[Alviro Patterson]

Bradley Walsh spotted hosting a TV game show at the Riverside

[Durhamfootman]

Bradley Walsh's quiz show cancelled for costing the production company too much money.

[Alviro Patterson]

Durham bowling prospect Peter Chase retires from cricket to take up a TV Game show host role with Bradley Walsh

[SaintPowelly]

Show decides to keep name "The Chase"

[Aidan11]

David Harker tries to win Who Wants to be a Millionnaire.

[Alviro Patterson]

IPL chiefs leak intimate and private photos of Ian Botham

[Durhamfootman]

IPL secretly agree with Botham, and announce that they are to disband in the interests of the long term health of the game

[Durhamfootman]

Indian bookmakers move their entire operations to Australia for the Big bash