by Arthur Crabtree » Thu Aug 22, 2019 12:55 pm
Welcome to the presentation of the new Fantasy League update, live from Nottingham, England. The whole competition has been thrown into a dramatic spin by the absence of the blonde Bradman Steve Smith from the Leeds Test where he would have been the only batter to make any runs in the overcast conditions and would have secured the Ashes for Australia. That can no longer happen. On ANAFL, everyone will be looking to their reserves.
We have a bonus for our executive members, which is everyone on the below list. Our current partners Oxford Analytica are working on hi-tec software that will transform the way we enjoy cricket. Some members accused ANAFL of grammatical blunder when we offered the possibility of attending the Lord's Test with any currently living PM, or any presently employed Cabinet member. As if you could accompany a dead politician. Well now you can.
The geniuses at Oxford Analytica have devised an interactive headset that will allow you to go to the cricket with any UK PM in history. If you have always wanted to sit in the Kensington Oval Barbados in a large electronic helmet, in the company of an automatic, robotic Theresa May, well your dream has come true. But you could also go to Johannesburg and spend the day in the company of Spencer Percival. Or drink on the grassy bank at Adelaide with Winston Churchill. Truly anything is possible. A draw will be held at the close of play today to find our lucky winner, subject to a £500000 deposits for the headset.
Here are the numbers for the completion of the Lord's Test, pending Hilary Benn's inquiry.
Arthur...1664
GJ...1491
Red...1491
Brendy...1481
BFP...1455
DD...1362
Stands...1358
Redjr...1353
GG...1344
Ian...1326
Al...1310
Alfie...1294
Durham...1292
Doc...1213
BFL...1203
Sussex...1046
Prof...944
Andy...816
Mike...344
I always say that everybody's right.