Predict a cricket headline for 2014

[Durhamfootman]

Durham sign the Merlin bowling machine until the end of the T20 season.

[Alviro Patterson]

Alastair Cook reported to OFCOM as a result for swearing live on television pre-watershed.

[Aidan11]

Alastair Cook reported to OFCOM as a result for swearing live on television pre-watershed.

His "people" smooth things over with a major beating quiet word in the right direction.

[Alviro Patterson]

Alastair Cook visits a Catholic Church and confesses his sins of swearing on Television pre-watershed and skinning cats.

(Inspired from BN)

[braveneutral]

Alastair Cook reported to OFCOM as a result for swearing live on television pre-watershed.

His "people" smooth things over with a major beating quiet word in the right direction.

I laughed at this. After the downer of Jimmy Anderson's emotions and AP's free tea, it was much needed.

[braveneutral]

Alastair Cook visits a Catholic Church and confesses his sins of swearing on Television pre-watershed and skinning cats.

(Inspired from BN)

Following the scandal that this causes Harry Styles of One Direction fame criticises Captain Cook for his loose morals.

[KipperJohn]

Ian Bell scores his 50th 50 in Tests.

[Aidan11]

Alastair Cook demands the ECB do something about CMS daring to criticise him.

[Durhamfootman]

Cook tells ECB that if anyone on CMS criticises him again, they have his permission to have us shot

[Durhamfootman]

ECB decide that 2014 is an anagram of 1981

[braveneutral]

ECB decide that 2014 is an anagram of 1981

[Alviro Patterson]

ECB appoint D/L as Director of Communications

Not only the bloke says it how it is, but does it with an extensive use of vocabularly that detracts the critics. The mutual dislike of Kevin Pietersen and an ally to the underfire Alastair Cook is an added bonus. We firmly believe that a strong Yorkshire is a strong England and this includes non playing staff" says ECB spokesperson.

[GarlicJam]

Alviro

[DiligentDefence]

D/L resigns saying that the job means he has to spend too much time in the South.

[DeltaAlpha]

That's what his spin says, DD, bur he was actually fired for repeatedly referring to a place in Leeds as "Lords" and a place in the South as the "Emirates St John's Wood International Cricket Ground".