Predict a Cricket Headline for 2016

[Alviro Patterson]

2nd England v Sri Lanka test match finished inside 2 days, Sky Sports hastily dash down the M1 to Headingley and rig up cameras to show the Roses clash.

[Slipstream]

Durham CCC are so desperate to sell tickets for the second test they have told Charles Colevile and the rest of the Sky team that they will have to pay at the gate to get in like everyone else.

Such a good thread.
A lot of posts on here have me crying with laughter.

[Alviro Patterson]

Sri Lankan players sign up for Sports Directs promotion of a new cricket bat for £10 if Jimmy Anderson takes 10 wickets in the Riverside test match.

[Alviro Patterson]

In response to Cricket Australia wanting Jason Gillespie as their bowling coach, Yorkshire CCC make an approach for Darren Lehmann to be the clubs batting coach.

"Well, two can play at that game" said a Yorkshire spokesperson whilst commentating on Test Match Special.

[Alviro Patterson]

Cricket Australia appoint Jason Gillespie as their bowling coach, but relocate the fast bowling coaching department to Headingley as part of the deal.

"If Mohammed can't come to the mountain, then the mountain can come to Mohammed" said James Sutherland. "This arrangement suits all parties, Jason can combine both coaching duties with Yorkshire and Australia."

As part of the deal, Mitchell Starc signs for Yorkshire in this years T20 Blast. "I am delighted to sign for the White Rose once again. I have some unfinished business to attend to and most looking forward to renewing an old rivalry with a certain player from Durham, who needs a masterclass in death over bowling."

[Aidan11]

The cold North Eastern weather brings an influx of penguins.

Durham immediately offer them a 2-for-one tickets offer for the test match on Friday.

[Durhamfootman]

penguins, being unable to walk quickly, are forced to settle for a £10 waddle in fee at the gate on Monday

[Durhamfootman]

Spectators for the second test at Chester-le-Street are forced to pay a £5 surcharge for bringing a brolly into the ground

[Arthur Crabtree]

Penguin elected mayor.

[Durhamfootman]

monkey absolutely livid

[Aidan11]

Durham announce that the ground was half full to watch day one of the test match.

ECB insist it was half empty.

[Aidan11]

ECB to consider using White Hart Lane as a test match venue.

[Durhamfootman]

Durham CCC open up the riverside for use as a heliport, to create a new revenue stream for their 'Save Our Durham' Official campaign

the SOD OFF campaign raises £50 in its first year

[KipperJohn]

in response to 'Hardy's of Australia sponsor English cricket', Cricket Australia announce that Wetherspoons........

[Arthur Crabtree]

Boris Johnson reveals that the deal to take cricket off free-to-air tv was enforced by EC bureaucrats, against the plans Churchill would have had for the game, had he not died over 50 years ago. And that the EC are demanding that cricket be played with a pelote ball and a curved bat.

David Cameron calculates that leaving the EC will worsen England results by 35.7% over the next seven years, a return to the kind of results suffered under a Labour government.

Michael Gove revealed that leaving the EC will mean Kevin Pietersen will again be available for selection, unless you can't stand the South African born upstart, in which case he will be birched by the queen in a re-establishment of ancient British law.

George Osborne said ticket prices for Ashes Test matches will go up to £1000 a day, a raise of 10%, if UK votes out.