Connoisseurs of shifty eyed self justification, management jargon and sheer Pythonesque buffoonery will have been feeling Paul Downton has been quiet for too long, since it became obvious in the summer that the only way things could seem better was if he stopped talking. Now he's talking again.It's his job.
He's back to endorse his decision to endorse Cook as England captain. He says he's (Steely) having a terrible time, but no one is more frustrated by that than him. Overlooking that, this may well not matter given the goal is (we nostalgists like to think) not to achieve Nirvana for Alastair Cook, but to assemble a winning cricket team. Maybe Ian Bell, or Alex Hales are more frustrated anyway. or Moeen Ali who has to watch him come and go. Downton doesn't know, or isn't saying. As ever, it's all about Alastair.
He then adds that he'll be surprised if Steely isn't reappointed skipper for the world cup at the weekend. You bet he will, seeing as that decision was made a long time ago.
Downton has obviously been at statsguru, because he can remember England winning a few games. Steely was in charge for the Champions League, which England didn't win in helpful home conditions two years ago. Since then, Cook's ODI side has lost to Australia, Australia, Sri lanka, India and Sri lanka. They lost before that as well, but that's nit picking. Maybe highlighting what wasn't even a win, and implying it was a success, and fading out all the defeats doesn't make a lot of logical sense.
He's out of form, but form can change... yes, but so could it for Carberry, Tremlett, Rankin, or any other player who has been dropped. Maybe even KP. But that was more about whistling. That wasn't about form. But at least we know normal standards don't apply for Steely.
Downton makes a very dodgy claim that other players have thrived under his captaincy. Dodgy why? Because Steely took no responsibility for the defeats and the bad form on his watch, particularly... well, all the defeats. There has been little else, apart from India's capitulation. But, you know, mainly that Ashes whitewash, for which a disinterested party got sacked. Downton says:
My job is not in the dressing room. I employ selectors to make decisions and I have absolutely not lost faith in them. On Friday I will attend the meeting and, if asked for my opinion, I will give it but I don’t have a vote.
So, Downton is in the selection meetings. He, personally, employs the selectors (the entitlement!) And he doesn't mention the veto he has over the captaincy.
He touches on criticisms Pietersen has of the running of the England team as a justification for sacking him. So we know how seriously his discontent was taken. The establishment goes on. Those critical of it must be first ruined, and then thrown out. Downton was right all along! The smug *******.
He enthuses about the regeneration of English cricket since the winter. Presumably the record LLWLL isn't represented as a temperature chart on the wall of his office.
Downton adds about Cook: he is due. That is something the fan says when all other hope has gone, and is said with self awareness that the comment is idiotic.
Over to you Alastair, your boss is in great form.
I always say that everybody's right.
