Predict a cricket headline for 2014

[Durhamfootman]

Potato's allegedly involved.

and Rhino's

[Arthur Crabtree]

Aloo've you know that Inzi was nowhere near that apostrophe.

[GarlicJam]

this is becoming apostrophic.

[Aidan11]

Sky confirm no action will be taken against Bob Willis for saying the C word 56 times in one sentence when asked to describe England's dismal performance in the first test against India.

[rich1uk]

Kevin Pietersen's upcoming autobiography to be named after how much he looked forward to getting back to his family after a test match and will be called "See You Next Tuesday"

[Aidan11]

Kevin Pietersen's upcoming autobiography to be named after how much he looked forward to getting back to his family after a test match and will be called "See You Next Tuesday"

[shankycricket]

Kevin Pietersen's upcoming autobiography to be named after how much he looked forward to getting back to his family after a test match and will be called "See You Next Tuesday"

You are back.

Hope you are more active during the England-India Tests. This board isn't the same without you.

[Durhamfootman]

Strauss comment mis-heard by KP, who attempts to improve relations with his former skipper by going down to Saltburn pier and ordering the tide to stop coming in

[Making_Splinters]

Strauss takes over Roy Chubby Brown's show at Blackpool's North Pier after locals find Mr Bown to be, "Far too PC"

[Alviro Patterson]

Andrew Strauss blames Steve Coogan for using the "C" word at Kevin Pietersen, citing he watched Alan Partridge night before, the Watership Alan episode.

[Alviro Patterson]

Shane Warne dismisses reports from Australian News that he is helping England regaining The Ashes by mentoring talented leg-spin bowler Scott Borthwick.

"Scott Borthwick could be as good as me, but Alastair Cook has a phobia of spin and wouldn't know when to bowl him."

[rich1uk]

Alistair Cook gets confidence boost ahead of the first test after watching David Luiz in the Brazil-Germany World Cup semi-final and realising he isn't the worst captain in the world of sport after all

[Durhamfootman]

Malcolm Tucker recruited to teach Strauss on the art of swearing and Borthwick on the art of spin, simultaneously

[Durhamfootman]

Cook livid at the appointment of Malcolm Tucker because he doesn't know anything about swearing or the art of spin, either and wanted to be included

[Durhamfootman]

Tucker tells Cook to..........

"*modded* off, you horrible little *modded*"

"If you want to learn the finer points of spin, then why don't you spin around in the shower and get KP to *modded* you up the arse, you little *modded* tw@t............ now get out of my *modded* way..................... the big boys are in charge now"

"Why are you still *modded* here?"

"I said.... *modded* off!"